Sifted Like Wheat

Sometimes when I think of Satan I think of some spirit in some far off land. I think of something not in my life physically. Something that, perhaps, is not in my reality. Then something happens and I am reminded that he most certainly is real and actively in my life.

When times start going well, is when I have learned to worry. Especially when my relationship with my husband is going super well, I am waiting for it. The last thing Satan wants is for us is to be happy, to uphold our covenants and make it to the celestial kingdom. When he sees that we are doing well he is going to tempt us and try to break us apart.  It could be a look, a word, a tone, a memory, a disappointment. Anything. No matter how big or little the issue he can try to use against you. He will use whatever he knows about you and use that against you. If it is addiction, depression, anger. He knows you. 

A few weeks ago I was hit really hard. I knew it was Satan immediately which helped me tremendously. He was trying to sift me like wheat.  I never truly understood the emotional aspect of the scripture when Jesus was talking to Peter about how Satan wanted to sift him like wheat.  I understood that the wheat berry is separated from the stalk and chaff. It literally tears the wheat apart. It is a violent process.  I now understand the emotional part. I was literally being torn apart and it was an internal, violent process. I knew I was being tested to see if I'd say "screw it, I'm doing what I want and I am no longer living the Gospel" or if I would stay faithful. 

I have never been through anything like that before. It made Satan a reality. It made all the times I had heard people say that "we are at war" a reality. We truly are at war. Constantly. Every Day. The armor of God is real to me now. It is a primary concept, I know, but I have a testimony of it. As we go through our struggles that is where our testimonies and our faith is strengthened. As we come out of the darkness and see the light, we know we have chosen the right side. 

As we go throughout our days putting on our armor of God let us not forget Joshua 1:9 "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." 

Pivotal Moments

                                                        Me with Michael Wilcox

I saw Michael Wilcox speak a few years ago at a Time Out For Women (for more info on the conference click here). I have read some of his books and enjoyed his presentation. I really wanted to meet him, but was too shy to walk up to him. 

This past TOFW he was a presenter again. Oh, how I have grown the last few years. I flagged him down and ran to him when I saw he was leaving on Friday night. He was in a hurry and said he would look for me the next day to talk to me more. When I saw him on Saturday he remembered me and we spoke. He autographed his book and gave some friendly advice to an aspiring writer and speaker. 

What really stuck with me (besides his height :) was his presentation. He re-told the story of Christ showing himself to Mary Magdalene in the sepulcher. When Mary, Peter and John went to Christ's sepulcher they saw it was empty. Peter and John turned around and went home, but Mary stayed and cried outside. Then she stooped down and looked inside to find two angels sitting. They asked her why she was crying and she said because she did not know where they had taken her Lord. She then turned around to leave and saw Jesus standing there. She did not know Him to be Jesus. She thought He was a gardener. He asked why she was weeping and she told him that she wanted to know where Jesus was taken. 

"Jesus saith unto her, Mary." (John 20:16) And this is the part that I love how Michael Wilcox explained; she turned herself.  The instant Mary heard Jesus say her name she knew who He was. The tone, the love in Him saying her name. She recognized, she knew it. I love how the scriptures do not say "she turned" but "she turned herself". That is the pivotal moment. Literally. She must have been casually speaking with the "gardener", but once she knew it was her Redeemer she turned herself to see Him. It was a conscious, physical act of turning oneself. 

I love this part too; she said unto him "Rabboni; which is to say, Master." (John 20:17) It must have been such a beautiful moment. In one moment and in one word her worry and distraught was over. In one moment she felt peace and love. 

I truly believe we all have these pivotal moments in our lives. The first question I ask myself is: Do I recognize them when they come? If Mary did not have such a strong testimony,faith and love for the Savior would she have recognized Him when he spoke her name? I think not. It was because of her faith that she knew who He was. The second question I ask myself is: If I do recognize the pivotal moment how do I respond? Mary understood down to her spirit the role of Christ. She knew and therefore called him Master.  

These beautiful moments in life. Life changing, pivotal times take action. A turning towards the Savior, a response of respect, a willing heart. I love that I have the gospel. I love that I have the Holy Ghost to guide me. I know I can not go go wrong as long as I remember Him. Even in the face of temptation, even in heartache, even with the pain in this mortal body I can make it through.