Who is Susan Marie?

    I am nobody of significance. Just a girl with a blog. I am a lover of polka dots, my husband and 5 kids, the great outdoors, my Heavenly Father, the gospel, honesty and thinking I'm funny. I am also inappropriate at times. So, I'll say I'm sorry in advance. 

    I am a writer working on several books. I have a degree in Psychology and I love learning about health and neuroscience. 

    I am a homemaker, dreamer and a child of God. I am a Mormon and I have my own story to share. 
    Were you born into the Church?

    No, even though I look like it. Can't judge a book by its cover. I have been through and seen some rough stuff. My college boyfriend was an inactive Mormon and through the years we dated and visiting with his parents (who are active) I began to have questions. I was always searching. From Wicca, to Buddhism, to Judaism, but I never thought of myself as a Christian. Catholicism did not jive with my Spirit so I put a big red X on all Christianity. 
     How did you find the Church?

    To make a very long story short, I looked up the Church in the yellow pages- you know back in the old days we got these 10 inch books with business addresses and phone numbers in them- and I left a message saying I wanted to talk to the missionaries. The next day they were over. 
    I had a hard time at first because of my lifestyle. It took me over a year and two times through the discussions. Then when I was ready, I couldn't get baptized fast enough. I felt my heart break when after my baptism interview I was told they had to talk to the Stake President to okay my baptism because of some of my past. Those hours waiting to hear were some of the longest. 

     Obviously, it all turned out A-okay. All that worry and diarrhea for nothing. (I warned you.) Another long story short, I fell away shortly after because I got mixed in with some wrong people (surprise) but then I was brought back by some awesome members. I have been strong since. After that falling away I can't describe what happened but my addictions that I struggled with seemed to be no more. They were "poof". GONE. He answered my prayers. I was able to move forward and break free from Satan's chains. You truly don't know the magnificence of the light until you come out of the darkness. 

     I was on the straight and narrow. Another long story short, I had a bad experience with a Mormon boy and called off our engagement. I was so done. I had my paperwork ready to join the Navy. My plan was to go through Officer Training then get my Master's in Public Relations in Monterey, California and retire from the military at a decent age. Well, Heavenly Father had different plans. He tossed my husband into the mix and my world got turned upside down. 

     After 3 dates, fasting, prayer and strong, burning in your chest like it is going to explode confirmation we decided to get married. 2 weeks later I moved across the country, 2 months later I was sealed in the Temple and 2 months after that I was pregnant with baby #1. 

     Whirlwind, I tell you. Hard on him I tell you. He didn't know what he was marrying. A clean freak married a snack on M&M's in bed, brush off Doritos crumbs, shower every few days kind of girl. Woo Wee. The first years were a doozy. Pile on the hardships of learning to live with someone else, pregnancy hormones and a new baby. 

     Then with my 2nd pregnancy my body literally started to fall apart. Like, my ligaments waaaaaay overstretched so my bones would fall out of place kind of fall apart. It got so bad it would take me a half and hour to get from my bed to bathroom and my husband would help undress and dress me (sounds sexy, but it wasn't). At my worst I had to manually move my legs with my hands, drag my legs to walk or crawl because I couldn't walk at all. I was afraid to leave the house because if my toddlers ran away I wouldn't be able to chase after them. Some days were better than others. Add on top of that anemia and low blood pressure where I would lose my eyesight and almost pass out. After years of doctors, alternative therapy, physical therapy, hormonal treatments, lots of prayer, fasting, fights, loves, tears, mental breakdowns, more pregnancies, and testimony building experiences I am over 90% better. 

    Wow! When I write it out it sounds like quite a story. One I wouldn't have chosen for myself, but I know Heavenly Father knows best. He knows what I have to go through in order for me to become the person He knows I can be. I have been through some poo and I know how darkness feels, what life is like with pain and agony, wanting to leave this world behind and the pain of other people's addictions affecting your life. This life isn't meant to be easy. I also know what the atonement, forgiveness, following the commandments, the grace of God and His arms wrapping you in love feels like. 

     What is the purpose of this blog?

    I hope to be able to help one person. If I can bring a smile or some understanding or compassion to someone that would make my day. I feel one of the reasons I have gone through what I have is so I can help others feel hope and feel the Savior's love. I want other's to know what it feels like to have the gospel. I want people to know that us Mormons aren't all pleated pants and have the same haircut. We are all individuals with different backgrounds. I want to be able to touch somebody because I am pretty sure they have touched me. (Okay, I couldn't end without some reference to School of Rock. That movie is hilarious. Alright it's getting late.)

Now Like, Share and Follow me!! :) 



  1. Happy to hear how you are sharing the light that you see. Keep it going. You have a good spirit about you. Thanks for sharing.

    Dan Fine
    LDS Family

  2. Thank you! I appreciate your comment! The internet can be used for good and in this time of hastening the work it is a wonderful tool! It is so uplifting to build friendships with others that are doing the same :)